I never took interest in NLP but I recently saw that there were many similarities to the realm of energies. For example, a frame, in my view of the world, is a reality in which we live shaped by the way we feel. The same concept of frame is used in NLP.

Here’s a definition of Reframing from Wikipedia:
“Another meaning or another sense is assigned by reframing a situation or context, thus sees a situation in another frame. A frame can refer to a belief, what limits our view of the world. If we let this limiting belief go, new conceptions and interpretation possibilities can develop.”

Where I don’t agree with NLP is that it tries to control frames with the language. We first have to understand what a frame is. A frame is a state of mind and a reality in which we life. A frame is an emotional state. E-motions are energies in motion. A frame is energies with intentions. Yes you can alter the emotional state of people with NLP, but that’s often used in a manipulative way especially by pick-up artists. If you practice NLP, what matters is the intention you have behind it.

Now let’s do reframing in another way. Put your hands in front of you and visualize a flow of universal energy entering your body through the top of your head to your heart and out through the palms of your hands. Visualize you have a ball of energy between your hands and play with it. You can make it bigger and smaller. You may feel resistance in your hands or you may feel like they are pushed away. Now, put an intention or visualization in that ball of energy and keep your focus on that intention. Take the ball and put it inside your body. You just altered and reframed your reality.

The problem with NLP is that it considers language creates frames, while these frames are created through the way we feel. I did the Landmark forum and although it’s great, they have the exact same limitation. Reframing patterns and situations on a logical level through language with a good intention is alright, but in terms of dating and sexuality, it just won’t do it. Sexuality, attraction and dating are emotional concepts and we really have to deal with them directly on an emotional level.

Let’s look at the six-step reframe, a pattern for changing unwanted habits and behaviors developed by John Grinder, the co-founder of NLP. I’ll comment each step from my perspective.

1. Identifying the context where the unwanted behavior pattern occurred
Comment: Right, you must be aware of your issues in order to heal them.

2. Establishing unconscious yes/no signals
Comment: You can do that if you need it, but since our unconscious minds are all connected, with practice you can ask your unconscious mind directly and follow your intuition.

3. Confirming that the behavior has a positive intent
Comment: The behavior has a positive intent in the sense that it seeks validation, security or control that you cannot find within yourself. I would rather look at what inner voids are at the root of the behavior.

4. Finding a number of ways of fulfilling the positive intent
Comment: Fulfillment is merely an emotion and has nothing to do with the external world. You don’t need “ways” to fulfill yourself, besides eating, breathing and sleeping. You just have to let go of feeling unfulfilled.

5. Selecting the best of the possible alternatives generated in step 4
Comment: Ouch. “Selecting an alternative” is patching the issue and closing your mind even more in fixed patterns. Even if you have 10 alternatives to chose from at all times, that still closes the mind off from its fluidity and intuition.

6. Checking that the selection is ecological, that is, it is acceptable to the individual and in relationships to others
Comment: Who are we to decide what is viable or not? Will you settle down with an “acceptable” solution? There’s nothing worse than a comfortable but unfulfilling position, as it brings no change. A psychiatrist may thing a woman needs to develop better communication with her husband, while what she really needs is to develop her femininity.

By healing your energies, you can live in harmony with people around you while being in touch with your emotions and intuition.

Both NLP practitioners and energy practitioners work with frames, the difference is that one works on a logical level with the language while the other works on an emotional level with energies.

An NLP pick-up artist frames his reality with his language patterns, but he can never affect the emotional state of a man who lives in his own strong frame of reality. In fact, the man who has a strong reality has a strong influence on the realities of others. When your energies strengthen, many people will react positively and girls will start showing attraction for no apparent reason, but some other people may react negatively to the changes you bring and NLP pick-up artists may not like their frame being pulled around and may view you as manipulative without even understanding what’s going on.

In terms of dating and success in life, the strongest reality wins. He doesn’t win in the sense that he takes the place of others, he wins in the sense that he lives in abundance and he empowers people around him, which creates an even more abundant, harmonious, loving and interconnected reality.

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