I believe beauty is in the depth of the soul, while most people in the Western world look at beauty at the surface of the skin. You may not view it as a problem, but I am sure you experience very concrete problems in your daily life that result from this belief.

You may often feel like you have to reach up to a certain image in order to feel worthy. Naturally beautiful women flip through magazines and start feeling more and more unworthy page after page. Even the models themselves don?t look as beautiful as their digitally-edited pictures. It is a huge burden to keep up to that image, and it is very painful for the self-esteem, especially when you know you will only be young for a certain number of years. As a man, you may also feel like you need the proper job, car and woman next to you to really feel worthy and successful. It is a huge burden to reach that image and you may easily spend 20 years to try to get there, just to realize you wasted the best years of your life working full-time and despite all the money you still don?t have any time to enjoy your life.

This generates strong feelings of unworthiness and loneliness, and people don?t want to look at it. They tend to hide it and compensate with excessive appearances. The more unworthy a woman feels, the more make-up and sexy clothes she needs to wear to tease men in clubs and feel somewhat worthy and desired. The same applies to men driving around in expensive cars to get attention. This validation may not heal the profound wound in their soul, but it does lessen the pain. There?s nothing wrong with driving an expensive car, these people are just like the others except that they can afford the car. Everybody wants to feel noticed, respected and loved.

How can you ever compare to a successful and rich business man or to a gorgeous woman in Hollywood? They have a million times more value than you, but you are the one giving them that value and power over you. When you realize the pains these people have behind the surface, they are not so perfect anymore. They are human beings with strengths and weaknesses just like you. You can cut through the image and have as much value as these people without the money, as you are the one giving yourself value and giving them value. You have everything you ever need, to have anything you ever want, already inside of you. If you have peace of mind and are fun to be with, you are worth much more than a stressed, self-conscious and narcotic fully-dressed model walking down the street, and deep down she knows she?s not able to keep a healthy relationship. She?s teasing you and you are giving her value, but you can look at her soul behind her skin to know if she can compare to your peace of mind and fun attitude. All of a sudden, you have something inside you that is more valuable than the unattainable image, and you can look for people with the same value. You can really feel worthy of being a man or a woman by stopping to compare yourself to an unattainable image. If it helps, stop watching TV and reading magazines, and focus your mind on what?s really important for you, not on what is lucrative for the beauty industry.

You may also feel like people don?t value you for who you are. They may view you as the guy with the cool car, the guy with money or the guy without money, and they don?t really look at the human being behind those. There are also many women who are seen as the woman with sexy shirt and perfect ass, but they are not being respected and valued as human beings. Most people view them as sex objects. Whatever we notice about you before noticing you, you are hiding behind it. Are the clothes you wear a natural extension of your natural traits and personality, or are people thinking ?nice clothes? before even noticing you? You don?t want to hide your authentic self, and there are two ways to hide: by wearing too much and by wearing not enough. There is this amazing woman I met. She is an image therapist, and she often gets women bursting into tears just by changing their clothes, because they cannot hide behind their clothes anymore and when they look in the mirror, they had never seen such beauty in themselves. Beauty comes from within, and naturally expands into external beauty.

You may also feel like it?s hard to connect with people. When people subconsciously try to hold onto a certain image, it creates walls that prevent them from properly connecting with you, especially if you are not at the level of the image they value. Furthermore, many people value what they cannot get. A sexy independent woman living in a mental shell who doesn?t want any kind of eye contact or interaction with people she doesn?t already know, will not be able to get out of her mental shell to have intimacy with her man, and she can hardly keep a relationship. It always turns into a power struggle unless she gets a very feminine man who doesn?t turn her on. Yet hordes of men stare at her and would fantasize about being with her, not because she?s fun to be with, but because she?s hard to get. This further encourages people to be hard to get and disconnected. The best relationships are with people who don?t live behind walls, and it is your responsibility to be vulnerable enough to connect with others.

By using your intuition to look at people?s soul and openness before looking at their skin, you can make a huge difference in the quality of your life and relationships.

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