One issue that comes over and over again while coaching both men and women is having traumas related to past relationships or still being attached to past relationships. These people feel a void within themselves and this considerably affects their quality of life for years. Beyond this, there is another important issue to look at.

Let’s put the concept of getting women (or men) aside for a minute. Without a relationship, do you still feel great and do you feel worthy? Or do you think your own happiness and your own value depends on how others think and feel about you?

In the end, maybe it’s not even about being better at getting laid. It’s about feeling great as an individual no matter the circumstances around you. From there, yes your dating life will transform and that’s only a secondary benefit. The real value is within you. Getting laid is about making you feel better. Buying a new car is about making you feel better. Everything you do is driven by the emotions inside of you. You take all the decisions that will make you feel better. Yet your own self-esteem depends on people’s opinion and who you are dating? Non-sense.

Here is one big advice I can give you. The solution to feel great and worthy no matter what people think is not to date more people, to dress better, to lose weight or to own better stuff. External elements will not deal with the real issue. A new girlfriend will not heal the wound created by an ex-girlfriend. The solution is within you. If you want to awaken your own inner strength and detach yourself from people’s approval and opinion, you need to change the way your emotional system is wired at your core. You need to heal the traumas that are hurting you and the fears that are blocking you.

The path is within. A great place to start is the monthly Attraction Mastery Club.

The internal path has to be applied to achieve concrete external results. This is explained in Result-Oriented Spirituality.

Then the transformation of your inner life reflects into your outer life. The way you stand changes. The way you express yourself changes. The way people treat you changes. The way people of the opposite sex behave around you completely changes.

Inner transformation has to be the main focus with dating (or any objective) as a secondary objective. From my experience, the advices I give don’t serve people who seek improving their social skills or love life as a primary objective. Why? Because these people seek to change external circumstances and what matters the most is a low priority to them. Either that or they don’t believe they can change from within, they don’t bother looking at the possibility or they simply don’t believe emotions are important. That is why I don’t bother with the seduction community. Inner transformation has to be the main focus.

I know that at least 95% of people’s main focus is to change external circumstances and changing from within is a low priority. The other 5% who find me and work with me achieve miraculous changes in very little time. Some even healed issues they had their entire life which affected their self-confidence and the way they stand, walk and talk. This brings two questions I’d like to hear your opinion about.

1. Why are most people so attached to changing external circumstances and rarely bother working within themselves?

2. What would be good ways to make these people ‘see the light’ and change their main focus so they can experience the same transformations others are seeing?

Post your thoughts and comments!

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