One issue that comes over and over again while coaching both men and women is having traumas related to past relationships or still being attached to past relationships. These people feel a void within themselves and this considerably affects their quality of life for years. Beyond this, there is another important issue to look at.
Let’s put the concept of getting women (or men) aside for a minute. Without a relationship, do you still feel great and do you feel worthy? Or do you think your own happiness and your own value depends on how others think and feel about you?
In the end, maybe it’s not even about being better at getting laid. It’s about feeling great as an individual no matter the circumstances around you. From there, yes your dating life will transform and that’s only a secondary benefit. The real value is within you. Getting laid is about making you feel better. Buying a new car is about making you feel better. Everything you do is driven by the emotions inside of you. You take all the decisions that will make you feel better. Yet your own self-esteem depends on people’s opinion and who you are dating? Non-sense.
Here is one big advice I can give you. The solution to feel great and worthy no matter what people think is not to date more people, to dress better, to lose weight or to own better stuff. External elements will not deal with the real issue. A new girlfriend will not heal the wound created by an ex-girlfriend. The solution is within you. If you want to awaken your own inner strength and detach yourself from people’s approval and opinion, you need to change the way your emotional system is wired at your core. You need to heal the traumas that are hurting you and the fears that are blocking you.
The path is within. A great place to start is the monthly Attraction Mastery Club.
The internal path has to be applied to achieve concrete external results. This is explained in Result-Oriented Spirituality.
Then the transformation of your inner life reflects into your outer life. The way you stand changes. The way you express yourself changes. The way people treat you changes. The way people of the opposite sex behave around you completely changes.
Inner transformation has to be the main focus with dating (or any objective) as a secondary objective. From my experience, the advices I give don’t serve people who seek improving their social skills or love life as a primary objective. Why? Because these people seek to change external circumstances and what matters the most is a low priority to them. Either that or they don’t believe they can change from within, they don’t bother looking at the possibility or they simply don’t believe emotions are important. That is why I don’t bother with the seduction community. Inner transformation has to be the main focus.
I know that at least 95% of people’s main focus is to change external circumstances and changing from within is a low priority. The other 5% who find me and work with me achieve miraculous changes in very little time. Some even healed issues they had their entire life which affected their self-confidence and the way they stand, walk and talk. This brings two questions I’d like to hear your opinion about.
1. Why are most people so attached to changing external circumstances and rarely bother working within themselves?
2. What would be good ways to make these people ‘see the light’ and change their main focus so they can experience the same transformations others are seeing?
Post your thoughts and comments!
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#1 by Sergio on April 20, 2011 - 8:55 pm
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I think it’s the way the western civilization does things, people are becoming more and more superficial, possessions are important to them and the exter-nal factors are something we look at, we need to create an awareness, or develop it.
I can’t see a way of making people see the light, as it seems that the only
way for them to realize is making the same mistake over and over again.
I started doing Natural Grounding one month ago and this made a huge
difference…
#2 by Tyler on April 20, 2011 - 11:09 pm
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1. The external seems very tangible. They see successful people, and see that they act differently. “Maybe if I say what he said, in this tone, at THIS moment….” When they don’t realize that changing the internal makes this the norm.
Also, doing “work” on the internal is labeled as “woo-woo” in America. “Either do your job, or nothing else you do is important.”
2. I think you have to get people to see the difference. Perhaps give them examples. Show them people who’ve become your student.
I’d advocate natural grounding. Rather than their normal time-waster, tell them to spend a couple minutes in front of some youtube videos. That’ll get ’em 😉
#3 by Jared on April 21, 2011 - 11:30 am
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We are an overall field in which fear is experienced.
Or Love.
#4 by benjamin on April 21, 2011 - 11:58 am
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1. Changing within is so painful, sticky and difficult. So much painful emotions such as shame and guilt coming up to be released. Not to mention the hopelessness, boredom and self-disciplin it requires (for me).
And so difficult to stand alone, since there are so very few who acknowledge this way of realization. Instead people see it as “wo-wo, hairy-fairy!”…
2. I do not know … Its damn difficult with this self-honesty-stuff…?
Much love and best regards from
crippled guy wanting more love in my life 🙂
#5 by Sufian on April 23, 2011 - 10:26 am
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1) People are born into a physical world where everything seems to revolve around external desires. Society itself does not acknowledge the intricacies of our internal energy systems. The social norm is set upon external features that are able to be readily changed and judged by others as fitting in with the right crowd or not. What society fails to realise is that energy is the foundation to the physical world. The root of the problem is therefore the energy system within.
2) They need to be able to see/feel results. If that means becoming a more confident and outgoing person, results nonetheless. When you fix the internal problems, other people will be more attracted to the real you. When you fix external problems, you will only be more attracted to yourself.
#6 by Jose on June 4, 2011 - 5:50 am
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1) Dealing with problems on the inside is painful.
2) Their life experience will guide them anyway, that’s what suffering is useful for.
#7 by Bushra on June 23, 2011 - 4:26 pm
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-Fear of knowing their own dark side
-Need to take effort to heal the unhealed emotions
-Doubt if healing the inside will change the outside
– Awareness of emotional healing and law of attraction
– Sample healings
– Testimonials