As you probably know, men and women are different on many levels, even though we all have both masculine and feminine polarities within us.
After talking with several women who are into self-discovery and spirituality, I came to the conclusion that the sexes? *dominant* sexual polarity is different, as are their goals and motivations.
In terms of dating and naturally connecting more with the opposite gender, men should cultivate their dominant and stable nature, while women should cultivate their lightness, intuition, and sense of flowing with life. Still, men and women need to develop both sides.
The emotional system works the same for any human being, but men tend to be more polygamous and value sex, while women tend to be more monogamous and value love.
Men complain women are sexually promiscuous and untrustworthy, while women complain that men don’t commit. As a man, I can guarantee I won’t commit to a woman who doesn’t completely satisfy me sexually and who doesn’t have a strong feminine core. On the other hand, if a relationship flows perfectly and I am fulfilled sexually, why would I want to have lesser relationships with anyone else? In the same way, women cheat on their men when they are not satisfied. If a man has a strong, magnetic presence that keeps attraction from women high, why would a woman want to see anyone else? Emotionally, women can only give their heart to one man at a time, and they normally cannot have sex without involving their heart.
Another thing I notice is that women ruthlessly reject 90 percent of men, but they don’t want to be rejected by the 10 percent of men who are most attractive, especially not after sex when they are more involved emotionally.
I am clearly in the 1 percent of most attractive men, and I got there because of all the relationships I had and all the awesome women I met in my life. I learned about life from each experience, and I got different things from different relationships. Women often want me to commit, but if I did so with the previous girl who asked me, I wouldn’t be who I am today, and I wouldn’t be available to even meet that new girl. This is kind of a paradox.
Men want to get, get, and get girls. Women want to get, get, and get commitment. The real question is, what do you have to offer?
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#1 by Ron John on November 9, 2009 - 9:57 pm
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I think you’re missing a big piece of the puzzle here, which is that a woman’s fluid nature reacts & conforms to the man with her at the moment, and because of that women are a reflection of a man’s own beliefs.
My own experience has always been that as my beliefs change, so do my relationships with women — I can be with a girl for just sex, but if there’s some deep repressed desire for some kind of emotional attachment, she’s going to feel that, reflect it back to you, and push for a relationship as a consequence. If it’s TRULY not a big deal to you whether or not you’re in a relationship, then she will feel that on a subconscious level and it won’t be an issue for her either, and I think as a man moves more and more towards true independence with women and the world in general, the less he will find women who will struggle to get him to commit, and then he is truly free to choose what he wants.
#2 by Etienne on November 9, 2009 - 10:07 pm
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True, but women in the Western culture (ex. Canada) aren’t so much in touch with that fluid nature. In fact, women here are quite masculine – but they still have a good heart, goals and a desire to live a better life.
#3 by Ron John on November 9, 2009 - 10:10 pm
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LOL I know what you mean, I’m in the US (NJ), but I think that’s why masculine polarity is SO important here, because the disconnect between a girl’s nature and her Western conditioning makes them SO ILLOGICAL, but at the same time they’re the best possible tools to help us men sharpen our masculinity to the point where they have no choice but to let our male energy unleash their female nature.
Like when a woman talks about how she wants commitment? I don’t think she’s pushing for commitment, she’s testing to see whether or not she’s in control of your actions and if she’s able to direct the relationship — despite what her conditioned mind may tell her, she becomes more attracted to you when she can trust you to be in control, and on TOP of that, that attraction is supercharged if she knows you’re seeing other women. She only gets upset when she can understand clearly from YOUR behaviour that you aren’t 100% okay with it — doing things like hiding other relationships from her, getting angry or withdrawn or whatever if she accuses you of cheating, etc. (Of course, I have no idea why, but it’s a lot easier to establish this kind of frame with a woman the earlier on you meet her, or after a long hiatus, than it is to try and change your own beliefs within a particular relationship.)
We men in the West have a unique opportunity to truly experience freedom, choice & abundance because these unique women force us to strengthen our masculine core and evolve beyond co-dependence and into much more grounded, self-reliant interdependence with our women and our world.
BTW I love what you’re doing! I’ve been practicing core shamanism for a few years now, and working on pickup & self improvement for years before that, and I’ve worked some tools & techniques into my seduction process for my own purposes.