I was reading The Way of the Superior Man from David Deida and he was saying that masculinity seeks freedom while femininity seeks love. Later I was doing Natural Grounding. Then BANG it hit it like a brick on the head! Actually it was both my hands hitting my head.
The masculine is to follow a life purpose. The feminine is to fully live the present moment.
Previously I was wondering why all Western women I knew who developed their feminine side had an even stronger masculine side. They couldn’t surrender to their femininity. That’s simply because they’re so focussed on their life purpose and achieving things in life! Almost every teacher is so focussed on life purpose. Every self-improvement business is so focussed on life purpose. Very few people ever talk about fully living the present moment. That’s HUGE.
For a woman living in nature, it’s easy to focus on fully living the present moment. She takes care of her garden, house and environment and her environment brings her whatever she needs. For a woman living in the fast-paced competitive Western world where she not only doesn’t own anything but she’s in debts, it’s a different story. The first step for anyone is to get whatever they need to live. Lots of people get stuck in survival mode but we must eventually move on from survival to fully living our lives. Then, for a woman who is truly feminine, fully living the present moment is more important than following her life purpose. Being is more important than Doing. She will still have a life purpose, she will still achieve goals, but love will be a priority. There’s always a balance of masculine and feminine within every person. The question is which polarity is dominant within each person.
There’s a huge part missing in the multi-billion dollar self-improvement business. It’s good to follow your life purpose, to achieve things in life, to change the world, to help poor people in Africa and all that, especially for men. However, you don’t need to run from goal to goal in order to always be achieving something even if it’s your life purpose. Your life purpose isn’t the only thing in life. ?Slowing down, looking around you, connecting with people around you, being vibrant and joyful and fully living the present moment is also very important, especially for women.
As a man, do you have both aspects into your life? Be the change you want to see in the world. The more you are fully living in the present moment, the more it will encourage women around you to be the same.
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#1 by Sergio on November 2, 2010 - 11:42 am
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Yes! That book is gold, David Deida is mighty right on almost all of it.
Everyone should read this book, it will change the way you see things.
Your aha! comment is right on the money Etienne.
Best Vibes from NDG
#2 by Etienne Charland on November 2, 2010 - 1:02 pm
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Yes indeed, David Deida’s book is an excellent complement to what I teach. He doesn’t go into how to heal your energy and how to attract new people into your life, but he covers very well the understanding of how men and women relate with each other.
#3 by Monica on November 2, 2010 - 12:32 pm
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I have read your emails, your blog, but most importantly I have read the energy that you have put into this project. See had I read your emails without feeling your energy I would have let the masculinity come out but because I am interested and passionate about the subject matter I let my femininity take place! Love, my femininity is active and I am grounded to and receptive to your message.
Yes, you are correct Etienne!! Wow, see I live through passion and if I do not fully enjoy something I am doing I hate it and unfortunately, at work is almost impossible to love it because, yes, everyone lets their masculinity come out and then it becomes imbalanced and miserable.
OMG!! YOU have just uncovered what I have been searching for?my own answers. Though I remain feminine, in this culture is hard to truly be that?it?s not because I am not comfortable being feminine but because it?s a survival mode. Here in this culture you have to show you?re strong and ambitious, and over the years I have told them I am motivated but not ambitious. Ambition to me is insecurity?ambition is not me. Ambition is chasing and I don?t want to chase. Ambition what kills the feminine polarity. This is where the being busy term comes from. The question in this western world is What do you strive for in life? In this culture we?re taught to achieve the goals that are material but not necessarily kind to ?love? that project peace and harmony. In fact, many women I see living two lives daily. One the work, tough, woman, and two the housewife or the person who has her life together.
Wooow?you?re a amazing. I wish I was there to give you physical hug, and in the mean time receive my energy and feminity. ๐ Thank you and congrats!
#4 by Monica on November 2, 2010 - 12:33 pm
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Etienne…this is beyond psychosis and society! This the true essence of being. Wow, I love it all! Thank you!! I wished I could go home and help you expound on that subject…because a lot makes sense to me. Hug, hug, hug…smiles with lots of joy!! ๐
#5 by Ed on November 2, 2010 - 12:40 pm
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That is a brilliant distinction. I’m not sure people are ready for it
#6 by Etienne Charland on November 2, 2010 - 12:42 pm
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Many people probably are not. At least they’ll become aware of what they’re not ready for ๐
#7 by Jos on November 2, 2010 - 7:02 pm
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Hello, Etienne. I love the way you’re carrying your business right now, even if I’ve still not bought anything from you. I feel good about you asking and having our feedback, by e-mails from you and pointing in them to new articles on your blog, telling us your realizations, helping us and being open to learn from us too. Much better than just trying to follow an agenda of promoting your products, since you’re actually showing your value by sharing it with us. I’m glad for you, and I’m sure you’ll attract more good in this way (whatever that good is for you).
As you read The Power of Now, you might be glad to see that Eckhart Tolle does talk about fully living the present moment ๐ As you’re deepening right now your understanding about life purpose and living the present moment, I bet you might like to see how to fit both of those in oneself… so I’ll point you to a video on YouTube (around 90 min long) from Eckhart Tolle about exactly these topics (but without talking about femininity or masculinity at all):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0jhnrsKJ_M
I personally love it, I realized I grounded to Tolle’s energy while watching it ๐
Best regards
#8 by Monica Isabel on December 20, 2011 - 10:26 am
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Ohhhhh, wow, I too have have become enlighten! I have been SEARCHING for my place in life and goodness…it is right here, right NOW. I have just gotten rid of yet another block in my heart. At the same time, it is almost hard to let go of the ‘purpose ego’ bc I have worked and worked to search my purpose ALL MY LIFE. I’m processing all this as I type…no, it won’t be hard to let go of that ego bc I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and now I can LOVE in the NOW. I can BE loving and present instead of being busy doing, which is exhausting and it throws my feminine polarity off.
Goodness, all the nurturing I do 24/7 with friends, family, coworkers, strangers, animals, (and plants, when I remember)…that’s what empowers me the most, that’s the polarity I am most comfortable with =MY AUTHENTIC FEMININITY! I also adapt to changes and jump into new horizons to make sure ‘I get it’ first so I can help others along the way. Hahaha…this is beautiful and funny as I’ve had the answer all along.
Muchas gracias!!! ๐