There is currently a huge controversy in Tunisia about the draft of a new constitution that promotes women complementarity instead of equity. What strikes me the most is the strength and vivacity of the violent opposition to this concept of complementarity. Even my own mom got in strong reaction to this news on TV which has nothing to do with her. Having taught about relationships for many years, I wanted to bring my own perspective to this controversial issue.

First, let’s look into the concept of equity for which people are violently fighting. If we look at what it has done in Western countries, it has brought everybody to the same level. It has removed the contrasts and colors of life, creating a society with only shades of grey. We fought for equity but we got sameness.

Sameness is not oneness. Uniformity is not unity. Unity, or oneness, is complementarity, not sameness. Sameness is uncreative… and boring.

I wrote this almost 3 years ago in this video montage.

From a professional perspective, equity is definitely not something to aim for at a personal level. If you’re on my website, I suppose you are seeking to be the most successful person you can be in all areas of life. You are not seeking to just be like everybody else. You are not seeking average success in life. In order to live at your full potential, the first step is to break out of the equity paradigm and to break the status quo to allow your true self to shine.

Second, let’s look into the concept of complementarity which people are violently opposing. From a biological perspective, men and women have complimentary sexual organs and this is an obvious fact. From a relationship standpoint, we all have various strengths and weaknesses and it doesn’t make much sense to have relationships that don’t help with your weaknesses. As a business owner, it’s important for me to be surrounded by coaches, contractors and other people to contribute to what I’m not so good at. In those relationships, I seek complementarity, not equity. If complementarity is an obvious fact both on a biological and relational level, then it would also make sense in intimate relationships. Real complementarity means empowering each other’s lives.

The third point is where I really see a big issue about the Tunisian constitution draft, although most people are fighting about the first and second points. True complementarity means more life to all and less to none. It means more freedom to all and less to none. A way of living comes from the consciousness of the people and then reflects into the government and laws. It cannot happen the other way around. If a law is passed to impose a way of living, it necessarily means removing freedom of choice from people which violates the law of more life to all and less to none.

The Muslim viewpoint on the women complementarity has a foundation in something important but it is tainted by control, repression of freedom and repression of women. Although this article will probably not change anything to that situation in Tunisia, I cannot support either sides of the conflict and I put the legitimacy of both sides into question. The points mentioned about equity and complementarity also greatly impact men and women all around the world so I would invite you to take some time to sit on the question and to take a deep look at these concepts and how they impact your personal life.

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